Milk in My Coffee: I NEED TO WRITE

Tired. Really tired.

The mind. The body. But it doesn’t mean I’m not happy. Contented. I look at my kids; they’re okay. We’re okay. I’m okay. Yes. Priorities do change. Especially when you have kids. I only wish I don’t lose myself. I can feel that I’m slipping away from my own self sometimes. I need a full body massage ASAP! ;)

Cluttered mind

So many things in my mind. I’ve forgotten how to compartmentalize. Especially late at nights. Or when I woke up in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s a sign. More amal & ibadah to Allah?! O Allah, Please forgive me!

Broken heart

It has a hole. It bleeds. Sometimes. But it’s getting more frequent nowadays. I just have to let go. But it is REALLY hard. Please help me, Allah.

Mama

Miss her. Still. Al-Fatihah.

Kempas Hotel.

Our current home. It has been 3 years and 5 months since we came home to Malaysia for good. From Oz to Malaysia. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t miss Oz. Well, maybe when I’ve got a tonne of things to do and practically passed out in bed at night; I’d probably didn’t even think of Oz. Heh. I didn’t think I’d leave Oz, to be honest. But Allah has other plans. It seems coming home to Malaysia was the best thing for us. Eventhough it was not what I wanted. Huhu.

Family

We’re home. We’re closer to family. Tapi tu la kan. Bila jauh bau wangi. Bile dah dekat bau taik. Excuse my language. Well, we’re sure as hell can’t choose our family. But we can definitely choose who we want to spend our time with. Fullstop.

I’m actually feeling.. Huh?! Don’t know what exactly I’m feeling. Having my two sisters undergo stem cell transplant procedure in the morning just… makes me feel all scared and anxious. Sayu pun ade, berdebar2… Hopeless too. But I’ve realized that I can’t do anything except PRAY. With all my heart. And I ask of everyone reading (kalau ada lah kan…huhu..) , to please say a prayer for my sisters. May Allah ease everything and bless them dunya and akhirah. And may Allah bless YOU, dunya akhirah for saying a pray for them.