Tired. Really tired.
The mind. The body. But it doesn’t mean I’m
not happy. Contented. I look at my kids; they’re okay. We’re okay. I’m okay. Yes.
Priorities do change. Especially when you have kids. I only wish I don’t lose
myself. I can feel that I’m slipping away from my own self sometimes. I need a full body massage ASAP! ;)
Cluttered mind
So
many things in my mind. I’ve forgotten how to compartmentalize. Especially late
at nights. Or when I woke up in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s a sign. More
amal & ibadah to Allah?! O Allah,
Please forgive me!
Broken heart
It
has a hole. It bleeds. Sometimes. But it’s getting more frequent nowadays. I
just have to let go. But it is REALLY hard. Please help me, Allah.
Miss her. Still. Al-Fatihah.
Kempas Hotel.
Our current home. It has been 3 years and 5
months since we came home to Malaysia for good. From Oz to Malaysia. There’s
not a day goes by that I don’t miss Oz. Well, maybe when I’ve got a tonne of
things to do and practically passed out in bed at night; I’d probably didn’t
even think of Oz. Heh. I didn’t think I’d leave Oz, to be honest. But Allah has
other plans. It seems coming home to Malaysia was the best thing for us. Eventhough
it was not what I wanted. Huhu.
Family
We’re home. We’re closer to family. Tapi tu la kan. Bila jauh bau wangi. Bile dah
dekat bau taik. Excuse my language. Well, we’re sure as hell can’t choose
our family. But we can definitely choose who we want to spend our time with. Fullstop.
I’m actually feeling.. Huh?! Don’t know what exactly I’m feeling. Having my two sisters undergo stem cell transplant procedure in the morning just… makes me feel all scared and anxious. Sayu pun ade, berdebar2… Hopeless too. But I’ve realized that I can’t do anything except PRAY. With all my heart. And I ask of everyone reading (kalau ada lah kan…huhu..) , to please say a prayer for my sisters. May Allah ease everything and bless them dunya and akhirah. And may Allah bless YOU, dunya akhirah for saying a pray for them.
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Aariz and Eisa sans 2015
About 6 months aftrer we came home.
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Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir
Rabbi tammim bil khair
O Allah, make it easy and do not make if difficult. O Allah, make it end well.
Ameen YRA
Hoping to write more. Just to keep the mind sane. Perhaps.
Ta.
