~...you are not alone...~

The time is 4:51 pm. It turned out to be a very nice Saturday. Sunny yet cooling. I've been in my room most of the day. Had a really nice walk and a quick stop at the lab early this morning. I've been analysing the outcomes of my experiments in between Saturday morning cartoons, making snacks and eating them (regardless of my efforts of getting my ideal slim body for my wedding), a movie (I Love You, Man), random internet surfing, The Girls (a book which I borrowed from Ellie) and a bunch of other stuff that surprisingly in need of my attention pronto. Huhuhu... I could and should have finish my analysis by now. I'll get it done right after this entry. Heh...

There's so much in my mind that I wanted to blog about but it's all tangled-up and I just don't seem to have the right words to note down. I guess I'm just experiencing 'imbalance of emotions' going through me. Is there such a term?! Haha! Direct translation! I always regard it as "emosi tak stabil" to my sisters and friends back home. In other words right now, I'm feeling a bit lonely. It's just weird how you could literally be in the same place and living in a self-contained environment and in the same time zone with other people but you just couldn't be a part of whatever's going on. You know everyone, have no problem whatsoever to strike a conversation and join in for laughs, but somehow, it's all  too awkward. For me at least. Well, here's the thing; almost everyone surrounding me here has started making plans for tonight weeks ago, gone shopping for costumes, probably start drinking by now, and just getting prepared for tonight. Yup, it's Halloween. There's gonna be parties, celebrations and other activities going on all over. Everyone's kinda excited to dress up and have a blast, especially for the Americans that I know. I've learned that it's a really big thing in the States.

Who am I kidding?! It's not just tonight. Eversince I came here, I know I'll be missing out on all the nights' out mostly on Uni Nights (nights where there will be free buses/shuttles to hostings pubs/clubs only for Uni students) and all kinds of parties. Eventhough I don't really know what all the 'fun' is (well, I kinda do know what it's all about but I don't think I'm up for it anyways..heh...), I just hate the feeling of not being there and not knowing what's going on the night before as they are laughing they hearts' out when they talk about it in the next few days. It really sucks!! Huhuhu..I so don't sound like a 28 year old!!!

Wow! I feel so much better now! Haha! I'm so twisted! Letting out your feelings do help, huh? Still feels a bit lonely though. I should have gotten used to all this being alone situation. I've realized being alone helps me appreciate more. I chose not to join in the fun and put myself out there coz I sure can if I want to. So? Make up your mind, Wa!!! Hehehe.. Yes. I know what I should do. I will think only the positive side of everything that has and will happen to me. Huh??? Hehe... I'm being oh so dramatic now. I do have friends that make me feel good and enjoy doing stuff together. I just wish I can have the pleasure of their company more often. Oh well, that's life! =)

All and all, I do hope everyone will have a great nite and enjoy themselves; whatever everyone's doing.

It is far better to be alone, than to wish you were. 

~Anne Landers~

Cheers!

S.O.M.E.D.A.Y

"Someday" is Rob telling his wife Marisol that they will always have their good days and bad days, but no matter what they will always pull through. He says that maybe someday they'll be able to figure their lives out....get rid of all the doubt in their relationship, and make things better.
Source(s): Friend of Robs :)


I was having breakfast in front of the TV and came across this music video by Rob Thomas. Most people who knows him would probably know that he's the lead singer of Matchbox Twenty. They were all about alternative and modern-rock. Nowadays, Rob Thomas is putting out the songs he wrote and the ones that I've heard so far are more contemporary. Anyways, I just wanna share this song with everyone. The interpretation of the song is endless. I personally feel that it's true; life has it's ups and downs and it's not always happy & easy times in a relationship. However, when the going gets rough, it would get better; Someday... Enjoy!

You can go

You can start all over again

You can try to find a way to make another day go by

You can hide

Hold all your feelings inside

You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry

And maybe someday we'll figure all this out

Try to put an end to all our doubt

Try to find a way to make things better now

And maybe someday

We'll live our lives out loud

We'll be better off somehow

Someday

Now wait

Try to find another mistake

If you throw it all away

Then maybe you can change you mind

You can run

And when everything is over and done

You can shine a little light on everything around you

Man it's good to be someone

And maybe someday we'll figure all this out

Try to put an end to all our doubt

Try to find a way to make things better now

And maybe someday

We'll live our lives out loud

We'll be better off somehow

Someday

I don't wanna wait

I just wanna know

I just wanna hear you tell me so

Give it to me straight

But tell it to me slow

Coz maybe someday

We'll figure all this out

We'll put an end to all our doubt

Try to find a way to just feel better now

And maybe someday

We'll live our lives out loud

We'll be better off somehow

Someday

Sometimes we don't really notice

Just how good it can get

So maybe we should start all over

Start all over again

Someday by Rob Thomas

"At the end of the day, the songs are all about me," he says. "They are always a mirror reflection of what I am going through at the time. At 37, you shouldn't be worried about being cool. It's a cop-out if at 37 you are worried about being cool. Being 37 is what's cool." -Rob Thomas on a radio interview-

Cheers!

>>> I'm Engaged!!! <<<

Hehe... It's been...geeesshhh! I actually couldn't remember when I got engaged. Hold on. Let me see the calendar...em...it was the 4th day of Eid which is the 23rd of September 2009. So, it's actually, has been 3 weeks since I officially became someone's fiance. Heh... It wasn't really planned at all. The engagement thingy that is. We did discussed on having he's family over to meet my family and officially saying that their son is interested in me and we want to get married. Hehe... Whilst planning this get together, his mom then said that she thinks it's better for us to get engaged.

For Malays, it's not as simple as a guy proposing to a girl, and when the girl says Yes, they're officially engaged. For us, it's all about family. The guy will have to tell his family that he wants to have a girl's hand in marriage. The guy's family then will have to come and meet with the girl's family and ask if they would accept the proposal. The girl would and should probably inform and discuss with her family about this in advance. I guess if a girl's parents and family doesn't approve, they can say no to the guy's family on the day when they actually came to propose; which I don't think ever happens. Not if the girl does want to get married with the guy that is. For the more traditional Malay families, during engagement ceremony, they will be discussing on the details beyond how long the engagement will take and deciding on the wedding date; they would discuss on what will happen if the engagement is off i.e. if the girl broke off the engagement, what will she have to give back to the guy; and I even heard there's like a specific book of reference for all the matter concerning engagement. That's how serious it gets. Erm... I hope I didn't make anyone confused. Huhuhu...

For me, however, the discussion that took place was brief. It only took about half an hour of discussion; whereby they decided how long we're going to be engaged and when's the big day going to be; and then everyone enjoyed nasi beriani and satay. Yummy!!! Ah yes, there was a placing-the-engagement-ring-on-my-finger ceremony. His mom did the honours. It was kinda funny and silly me! Anyways, I was really glad as I had all my family members with me that night. The ceremony which is a result of a 2-3 days of planning, wouldn't have gone as smooth as it did if not for the help of everyone. I'm grateful to God and I have only Him to return the deed to everyone. I've got heaps of pictures for everyone to enjoy on my Facebook page.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/album.php?aid=109653&id=697177908

Again, many many thanks to everyone especially my family for having this memorable event of my life a great one and to everyone who have wished me well.

As of now, it's only fair if once in a while (or whenever I feel like it..), I'm going to share and have everyone help me while I plan my wedding on my blog, aight? ;) Hehe...

Cheers!

~@~ I'm Going to Miss You!!! ~@~

It is never easy being in a new place. I remembered early this year when I first started my work in USC's Microbiology research lab, it was quite terrifying. My supervisor had brought me around the whole research complex to get me familiarize and I also had my lab orientation session where I was briefed with all the safety procedures, all the facilities, and met with all the lab technicians. Even so, I didn't really know anyone there. I do remember that with time (as well as a bag full of courage and me giving the sweetest smile to everyone I see), things got better in the lab. It got even better when I was introduced and got to know a sweet young lady by the name of Nubia. I believed that I actually had a decent chat with her when we met at the Grad centre. We were asked to share our working desk, which is fine by me. I'm now really glad it was her that I had as a desk-mate than some mean, inconsiderate postgrad student. I don't think anyone here is mean or anything and I've never really met one that is, but I just wanted to say that it was and still is very easy to approach and discuss things with Nubia. She always tries to be positive and ever willing to help anyone in need. I personally have always bugged her for even the tiniest problem I had. Huhuhu...

For the next 6 months (if she decides she wants to come back, which I hope she will) though, Nubia won't be around in the lab. She is now, as we speak, doing her last minute packing and will be departing for Sweden tonight. She'll be doing some of her PhD research work at Karolinska Institute. She's even on our Uni's website.

http://www.usc.edu.au/University/NewsEvents/News/2009News/NubiaSweden.htm

I'm so excited and happy for her. I know how hardworking and dedicated she is towards her work. She truly deserve the opportunity. I do hope she'll explore and enjoy Sweden as much as she can as well. Having said that, I can't wait for her exciting stories and wonderful pictures she'll be posting and updating on the internet. Kudos to technology!

A send-off gathering for Nubia by our research group. :-)

'Nubia-approved picture' Heh... ;-)

A bit blurry, but I just think that's a cute pose! :-p

See you when you get back!

Cheers!

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces up, snow is exhilarating; there is no such thing as bad weather just different kinds of good weather. - John Ruskin

Despite having negative results on almost all my gradient PCR samples, I'm rather calm and relaxed. I would at times (make it most of the time) freaked out or go berserk for not being successful in my experiments. Yes, I am a bit frustrated coz this means I need to repeat it when I really was hoping I didn't have to. Not because I'm lazy or I don't want to do it. It's just that resources are kinda scarce in the lab at the moment. And my yearly fund given by the Uni has zero money. Zilch. :( Having to repeat the experiment means that I need to use more of the chemicals, etc. I guess I don't have a choice, eh?! Nonetheless, I could and would be more careful in analyzing what went wrong and what I need to do to get better positive results next time. InsyaAllah all would be good.

It's raining now. It rained this morning and I guess sometime in the middle of the night, last night. I woke up dreading that I have to go to the lab. I could have stayed in and do nothing today if I haven't been all excuses yesterday to not go and do my labwork! Huhuhu.. Oh well, too late for that. Anyways, it has been cloudy and rather cold all morning. It seems like the perfect day to stay in, cuddle up in bed and read a book. I know one or maybe more of my friends are doing this simple yet very fulfilling activity as we speak. I would probably join them after positng my entry, if the rain has yet to stop. I am currently reading 'Are You There ,Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea'. I'm almost half way through the book. I started to read the book last night before going to sleep. I think I'm going to do this reading routine just before bed coz I realized this morning that I didn't have a hard time dozing off eventhough some inconsiderate neighbours were still having a loud party 12am last night. Do you think it's because I read before bed? Or maybe I'm just too tired? Hrmm....

OOOPPPSSS! OK! I better stop blogging now. I'm eating homebrand Choc Scotch Finger more than I'm blogging. Till next time peeps! Cheers!

...Bell's palsy...

Men in my family has always been the pillar of my strength. They show only macho-ness, obey strict rules, have strong faith and believes and are always responsible. I've always been very close to my Papa and have always wanted a boyfriend/husband that bears the qualities that my brothers have. They might not be the most affectionate, romantic guys, but they definitely have their own way in showing how much they care. I love all of you to bits!!! Just recently, my men in my life includes a guy that might not be the perfect guy in the world, but I believe the perfect guy for me. InsyaAllah.

I felt the urge to blog today due to my restlessness and that uncomfortable feeling in my gut. I couldn't seem to keep to myself anymore. Two of my dearest guys are face with God's test. They have fallen sick.

My dearest has been sick eversince I came back to Oz. Having sore throat at first, followed by mild coughs, and now, he's lost he's voice. It's been hard for him to talk, eat and drink. And he's not having good nights' sleep. He's supposed to be working today, but he'd probably, finally, be going to the clinic and hopefully gets the day off. He's been working so hard and personally, I think that lack of rest plays it share in making it hard to overcome his coughing easily as he usually does just by having a few drops of lozenges. I think it's minor. I just hope he'll get better as soon as possible.

My Papa was admitted to hospital last night. Limah texted me and I immediately called her asking for more details. I kinda cried myself to bed last night coz there's not much known on what exactly is going on. Limah was also a bit freaked out as she couldn't answer half of my questions. Sorry Limah. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. Earlier during the day yesterday, Papa felt his cheek went numb. The doctor at a clinic asked him to refer to the General Hospital. He was initially diagnosed with a mild stroke. By the time he was done with MRI and ready for ECG, it was already 10 pm at night and no visitors whatsoever is allowed in the wards. That is when Limah had to go home. She texted me then to inform me. Everyone back home seemed calm and relaxed which I should be too. But I guess I was just frustrated last night coz I'm not physically there. I'd probably be a nuisance to the hospital's staffs so that I could get more information and until I'm satisfied, they won't be able to chase me out. My dearest being all sick himself did made me feel better last night and reassured me that everything will be fine with Papa. Keep calm, pray and hope for the best.

This morning, Limah updated me with news that blood clotting couldn't really be seen. They still have to wait till tomorrow to be sure. In the mean time, they'll be treating Papa with Bell's palsy treatment. I googled it and here's some info about it...


Bell's palsy is a paralysis of cranial nerve VII (the facial nerve) resulting in inability to control facial muscles on the affected side. Several conditions can cause a facial paralysis, e.g., brain tumor, stroke, and Lyme disease. However, if no specific cause can be identified, the condition is known as Bell's palsy. Named after Scottish anatomist Charles Bell, who first described it, Bell's palsy is the most common acute mononeuropathy (disease involving only one nerve) and is the most common cause of acute facial nerve paralysis.


Bell's palsy is defined as an idiopathic unilateral facial nerve paralysis, usually self-limiting. The trademark is rapid onset of partial or complete palsy, usually in a single day.


It is thought that an inflammatory condition leads to swelling of the facial nerve. The nerve travels through the skull in a narrow bone canal beneath the ear. Nerve swelling and compression in the narrow bone canal are thought to lead to nerve inhibition, damage or death. No readily identifiable cause for Bell's palsy has been found.


Doctors may prescribe anti-inflammatory and anti-viral drugs. Early treatment is necessary for the drug therapy to have effect. The effect of treatment is still controversial. Most people recover spontaneously and achieve near-normal to normal functions. Many show signs of improvement as early as 10 days after the onset, even without treatment.


Often the eye in the affected side cannot be closed. The eye must be protected from drying up, or the cornes may be permanently damaged resulting in impaired vision. In some cases denture wearers experience some discomfort.


Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell%27s_palsy

I really hope both of my dearest will win their battles and be all healthy and alright soon. It could just be a test from God to keep them grounded and definitely keeping me insight of everything that is important. Last but not least, all these happenings just shows how great God is and how weak we humans are.

To the men I've come to appreciate more and more each day of my life.

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor

There's no other love like the love for a brother.  There's no other love like the love from a brother.  ~Astrid Alauda

~..Eid Mubarak..~ "Riang Ria Raya!"

There's too many stories, feelings and thoughts I want to share, but I'll just sum it up by saying Alhamdulillah. There are also some pictures that I'd like to share.

I almost missed out on all these...

...the day before Eid...

..Pagi raya... Like father, like son?...

...the men...

 

...Hhhmmm... Perebutan harta?! Heh...

...my Kak Long & kids...

...all the ladies in the house!!!..

 

...kakak-kakak ku... :)

 

....adikku... ;)

 

...nephews... Oh, how they've grown...

 

...outdoor session...picture taken using very the expensive camera... Huhuhu...

 

...really glad I didn't! ^_^

PS: More pictures in Facebook... Enjoy!